By Joe Roberts
Class of 2023
Yooooo! What’s up CLT Fellows Fam! As my first blog post, I thought there would be no better way to start than to tell you how I got here.
Since high school, I have been involved in Chick-fil-A and Young Life. Both of these experiences allowed me to grow in my faith and as an individual. In the spring semester of my senior year, I considered pursuing both of these avenues post-grad. I thought I knew what was next, but I was wrong.
It felt like God, in His divine authority, had closed doors for me that I thought existed. I thought if only I had worked hard enough at Chick-fil-A someone would hand me a job after graduation or if I had been a good enough Young Life leader, a career would open up for me. Neither of those things happened; in fact, it felt like quite the opposite. I spent the next few months in a state of disappointment and questioning. Why did these things not work out?
I was disappointed in myself, but even more in God. I don’t think I realized it at the time, but I was experiencing the death of my pride. These two things had consumed my life for the past 4 years. I didn’t know who I was outside of them. I felt like I had given my all and still - that didn’t feel like enough.
The heartache lasted a while, and of course I still have questions and face disappointment. But thankfully, a friend mentioned the Charlotte Fellows program to me. At first, I saw it as nothing more than a prolonged year of waiting and developing, like I wasn’t prepared to join the adult world. I wanted to scream, “I AM READY!” Even in my hesitation, doubt, and confusion I applied to the Charlotte Fellows program. It was humbling that I couldn’t plan my future the way I wanted, but God was calling me elsewhere.
I found myself eventually praying, “Lord, can I see your goodness? Can I taste it?”
When I finally let go of my own plans, God surpassed my prayers. I found peace in just sitting with the Lord. He was putting together a future for me that I couldn’t create on my own. No longer did it feel like I had to work in order to be a son. I didn’t have to keep score and compare myself to others. But most importantly, I didn’t have to rely on myself anymore.
“You didn’t cause it, but you could have stopped it. You saw it coming, and let it stand, because of what you knew it would do within us. You knew that the groaning it would produce would have an effect on us like nothing else could or would.” - Jim Branch
In this I have learned that all that’s left for us to do is trust. Trust that God is on the move. Trust that he is working something inside of you. Trust in his never changing and never-ending character. At first, that can be frustrating. It can make you feel helpless or confused. But when you step into it, you actually get to take a step back by putting God in his rightful place as King of your heart.
Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
2 Corinthians 1:9