By Connor Boyce, Program Coordinator & Class of 2020
It has been such a gift to get involved with the Charlotte Fellows program this year as the Program Coordinator. I loved my experience as a fellow and it’s been a different kind of gift to be on the other side of things and watch God work in the lives of this year’s class.
I was a Charlotte Fellow in the class of 2020 under Director Connice Dyar. In the spring of our Fellows year (yep, you guessed it), COVID-19 hit and rocked all of our worlds. This created the ultimate season of unknowns… not just for us postgraduate young adults expecting to enter the workforce, but for everyone around us, too. Connice picked a bible verse for us early in the year to pray over together as we engaged in the program. Sometimes I giggle at how accurate it was. But I think it deserves some recognition given the year our current class has had, too:
Proverbs 16:9 “The heart of man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps.”
This year’s class has experienced some curveballs of their own. I have seen the Fellows take on challenges in both their personal and professional lives in Charlotte. I have watched them step out of their comfort zones to embrace God meeting them in new ways. I’ve seen each of them seek a deeper understanding of themselves through individual counseling and opening up to one another. I’ve seen them process change in their close relationships. I’ve witnessed them sit in silence with God. I’ve seen them adjust to new living situations. I’ve seen them reshape their perspectives in their approach to work and their sense of purpose. I have watched them face conflict and embrace the growth that follows. These are brave endeavors that require courage and steadfastness. And, most of all, I have witnessed their bravery. They have taken deep breaths and put their trust in God, that He would carry them through this year and be faithful. They remind me to hold that same trust in Him, and to release control on my own life.
In the fall semester, I asked each of the Fellows to write a letter to their current selves. I wanted them to tell themselves what the year had felt like so far, as if they were gushing to one of their friends, counselors, or even to God. They had freedom to write whatever they were feeling in full honesty - overwhelm, disappointment, wrestling, loneliness, exhaustion, disbelief, yearning for more, etc. I encouraged them to use it as an opportunity to check in on their hearts and surrender the urge to keep it all together. Once they finished, I sealed them up and stuck the letters in my desk drawer. I will not read these letters, but I do plan to give them back to the Fellows to read just before graduation.
What was the point of this? I am hoping this activity gives each Fellow a chance to look back at all that God has done in these few short months. I’m prayerful that God will use this as a tangible reference of how He has directed each of the Fellows’ steps, despite their own plans. How did the Lord surprise you? Did he give you rest or meet you in your wrestling? How did He make room for you here in Charlotte? Was He gentle or pressing during the fears and unknowns? Some of these questions may not get answered during the program, and that’s okay too! God’s timing is not our own, but it is still perfect. He loves to surprise us.
To our sweet Fellows: Ainsley, Caleb, JP, Kacey, Laura, & Noelle…
I know the lessons and takeaways from this past year will continue for you in the months ahead, as they did (and still do) for me. There may still be question marks floating around as you think about what lies ahead for you, which, I’ll admit, can be scary! But I have good news: The Lord has your steps already planned out. We can unclench our fists, release control, and rest in knowing that no plan we create on our own gets us closer to our “perfect calling.” No cleverly calculated plan for the next year can bring us the joy that lies ONLY in knowing Jesus. (This includes jobs, living situations, friends… none of this can ever bring us even a fraction of the satisfaction following God gives us). Don’t let comparisons steal your joy. I hope it is encouraging to hear that this year of growth and reflection and growing closer to God never truly ends.